When my believing is all out of facts
When I question all my answers
Am I unfaithful?
And what about KNOWING?
Getting it all right this time
If I am to be a woman of the faith, shouldn’t I see it clearly by now
Watch it all come together in the light of day?
And shouldn’t I know the right words to say when the doubters come calling?
And shouldn’t my longings be more fulfilled?
Did I miss the entrance to the secret easy way?
Must I hammer through these endless proofs?
Surely by now I should have found some greater truths…
But that old rigid story has left me no room
For all of my hunches, suspicions and all
Am I safe to ask these or is my God too small
for all of my heartbreaks and all my “not yets”
Is numbing and hiding as good as it gets?
Or are faith and this feeling really connected?
Does one shush the other or are they quite kindred?
Estranged or the very same sentiment?
Have they never spoken or are they closer than breath?
What if faith and this feeling are brothers who just haven’t met?
And what if faith isn’t keeping all the right rules
Cutting out our doubts with even sharper tools
Or knowing all songs on Sundays
while hanging our hopes on far away somedays
Protecting ourselves from disappointment's pain
And the fear that we’re getting it all wrong again
But what if faith is more about TRUST?
Can faith be the Who and instead of the what?
What about honestly instead of sure answers?
What about whole hearts instead of certainty’s standards?
Can my faith be the leaning on the endless and infinite
The God who formed the world, from dust to magnificent?
Then turned around and let ME unfold
A God who trusts me with a story half told
To co-create with Him how this tale will end
A relationship solid enough to transcend
All the mundane, to fully mend
With the One who made it all
And who is bringing it all together again